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2) Anyway.. I think I'm becoming more and more of a feminist.. Not just advocating for gender equality, but that woman are capable of doing just what man can do too.. Especially after coming here, the guys here (not koreans per se, just those I hang around with..) further engrave this thought into my mind by their nua-ness and the lack of initiative.. Or perhaps I'm too proactive, maybe.. But just can't stand the attitude of just standing around waiting for things to happen.. I think.. Guys who display characteristics which I truly respect are hard to come by.. Though God made woman to be the helper of man.. I still can't help but to think that woman can be as capable as man. If not.. Better.
- Mood:
cynical
Watch the first hyperlink too.. And hope this song blesses your heart :)
- Mood:
thankful
Search on youtube: Children Full of Life
- Mood:
hopeful
The girls are really really sweet :) It was a great time teaching about and playing with magnets, drawing, colouring, pasting -- creating our own racing tracks and driving our toy cars around! 3 classes of 2 hours each a day, yet every lesson I looked forward to! The girls hug you goodbye before they leave - started with one, then two, then five, and almost the whole class eventually, and say sweeeet things like "Thank you Miss Ng for giving us a fun lesson today.", and also the enthusiastic chorale-alike "Thank you Miss Ng, goodbye Miss Ng, may God bless you aBUNdantly!"
At the end of a lesson..
Girl A: Teacher teacher... Can I give you my drawing?
Teacher: Why not you bring it home?
Girl A: I want to give you my drawing :) *GRIN*
And here it is, pasted on my wall :) this is her part of the racing track, very beautifully drawn and coloured.
Each of the trainer took a specialised topic, so we had taught all the classes by the end of today.. Monday morning started off with quiet and shy faces.. Tuesday's lunch was "Hello Miss Ng!" everywhere!
These little angels really bless my heart -- as I took more time to listen to some of their stories, about their famiies etc -- as I see how strong they are deep within. There was a girl who was handicapped. Both her sister and her are strong in their own ways. There was another whose parents are divorced, and she saw her dad beat her mum at such a young age.
At the end of the day..
Girl B: Teacher teacher, I wish you are my school teacher!
Gril C: I wish you are my mother!!
Teacher: HUH??
Girlsss: Hahahahah..
Well, I wish I am their school teacher really! It was great great great great fun :)
On a side note, coincidentally met jo as I was on my way home after teaching and tuitioning, and her on her way home from attachment.. Its quite strange to see us both in blouse and pants, compared to our usual shorts and slippers in school.. Haha.. I guess everyone's growing up! We'll all be adult-adult soon in 2 to 3 years time? (Adult as in working adult!) I tried to imagine us all in working attire in a few years time, gathering at Old School again like yesterday night.. I think I see it? I don't wanna grow up!
- Mood:
working
We all stepped into Ngee Ann Pri with a common goal I'm sure -- to make this Survival Camp a success! Be it the committee, counsellors, logistics, and everyone else who were involved in one way or another.
I felt like a _____ (its beyond description!) - with two primary one kids, one whiny girl, two dreamy boys, one boy with a mind of his own (thankfully there were a few normal ones too haha) - 8 children who have their strengths and weaknesses, and needed attention to correct the wrong, needed that special touch to develop the potential or open that door within them.
Titus, it was really a love-hate relationship for the 4 days. I wonder how you'll respond to me next time I see you in church after so much scolding. Our dearest friend of Delta 4, the mop, comes to visit EVERY meal time. You spills your drinks 408649 a day, talks 243094 words a minute, asks 489520 'whys' in an hour, went 'missing' 4382590 a day. A P5 boy commented "Jie Jie, he very noisy leh!" You're always found loitering around the vending machines too. If you can eat as fast as you talks, that would be really great. You eat slower than a snail really! You are an intelligent and adventurous boy. "Why do we have to be blindfolded?" "Why do we have to report at this time? At this place?" "Why do we have to do a cheer? Sing a song?" "Why is that green leaf on the floor?" "Why is the sky blue?" "Why do algaes grow?" Everything was why why why.. I learnt not to stifle a kid's curiosity, but ometimes your questions really made me speechless. I didn't know what to answer you! But boy, you're one I scolded the most in the group did you realise? You're like a little monkey! Well, but Jie Jie still love you because you're special to me :)
Charmaine, you're the princess girl to everyone. You're so adorable that everyone just had to show you a little more attention and love. Well, I tried not to be bias!
Ni Hui, your 'chilli padiness', whines and rolling of eyes made you the special girl to me :) Your eyes always sparkle with acts of mischief, yet your innocence still radiates from within.
Hamirul's long eye lashes, huge round eyes, chubby cheeks, dreamy personality, made him more adorable than ever! Yet, the dreamy part makes me feel like dying too! You're a really sweet boy :)
Nazry, you've the potential in you to be an influential someone, make good use of it. The natural leader among all, our cheer captain as well :) Beneath the seemingly rude and rebellious behavior, there is this gentle and sensitive side of you. I knew right there scolding would definitely not work for you, perhaps you get lots of them at home or in school. You know whats right and whats wrong, you just needed someone to affirm and encourage you. I hope we have been a source of encouragement to you :)
Kok Kuang, I never knew a big boy like you can get homesick, but you're a strong boy, you overcomed that! Thanks for being a big brother and taking care of Titus and looking out for him throughout all the activities. Started off with great reluctance I'm sure? But eventually grew to love this responsibility :)
Rafina and Clarissa, you girls have been quiet, hope you don't feel that you've been forgotten? You girls really helped to take care of Charmaine and Ni Hui, and you did a great job!
Thanks Priscilla, Felicia and Kendrick! You guys are really really great assistant! Especially Pris, you're one amazing girl! Takes initiative and is very resonsible indeed! You guys have been so proactive in everything, really amazing! Sky and Mingyi, you guys are great too! Your overwhelming enthusiasm and passion were really much needed and appreciated!
I tried not to be biased towards anyone, especially Titus I must say. Titus, I didn't want you to feel that you're more special than the rest, or the rest to think that you're more special than them -- though you have always been to me. I didn't allow the other kor kors and jie jies (sorry ben and sky!) to be especially affectionate towards you as well. I don't know if I did right, this was the first time I really felt like I was fair to the children. But perhaps, it has been unfair to them? They could have needed more affection, love and touch.. One area I need to ponder about, or perhaps someone would like to enlighten?
It was a new experience being a counsellor in this kinda context, a good experience definitely. Many areas of improvements though, next time gonna be better! I never knew I could scold so much in a day.. Strangely, I felt old as the camp starts.. It takes so much effort to garner all the zeal to excite you kids!
Well, above all else, God made it all possible :) !
- Mood:
chipper
Back to the yummy stuff, we synthesize some strawberry-jam-look-alike on Wednesday in inorganic, and some lemon-soda-look-alike on Thursday in organic! And, really pretty princessy purple shimmering fine crystals too! They REALLY shimmer!
- Mood: chipper
- Mood:
thoughtful
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
*** Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
- Mood: thankful
Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says "do not be afraid"
And the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are
bouncyAction speaks louder than words.. Faith without works is dead.. A respectable man walks the talk.. How true..
Which is better?
1) One who do, yet makes mistakes along the way
2) One who talk and sound knowledgeable yet do nothing
Don talk if one don't do what one say. One doesn't just gain respect by saying things which sound pro or great..
Be a do-er, not just a say-er!
- Mood:
blah
- Mood: accomplished
Hmm.. some things just never come twice.. it just dawned upon me suddenly, which makes it a lil' saddening.. things just can't stay the same forever. Once its over, its over.. Once its gone, its gone with the wind leaving only memories.. Well, on a lighter note, knowing this, what can we do? Let us treasure each moment knowing they might never come again, treasure each day like its the last, treasure each friend and family member with love :)
However, dwelling on memories can be deadly! God says in Isaiah 43:18-19 "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.." Instead of living in the land of "if only", "maybe", "what if".. Let us lay hold of God's promises that something more beautiful is in stored for us up ahead!
More often than not, we fail when we decide to do things our own human ways.. Do we have the faith to do things God's way instead? You will sit there and be a spectator forever if you are not willing..
"Great faith is the product of great fights; great testimonies are the outcome of great tests; great triumphs can only come out of great trials.." -Smith Wrigglesworth-
- Mood:
depressed
I thank God for youthphoria -- for the committee I enjoy working with, and more importantly, the teens who I got to know better, and can get to know in upcoming events! The coming back into Youthphoria is a whole new experience altogether. I know my purpose here this time round, God's purposes. My vision was enlarged with he personal choice to rejoin the team again.. I know why I am here, I know why I chose to be here!
We don't see numbers, we see people. We see lives. Precious lives which belong to God. We need to take ownership of what has been appointed to us. We should not, and cannot, just let go of what God has intended for us to achieve. Push on dear brothers and sisters in Christ! Let the faith arise, believe once again, act upon your faith! God never shortchanges :)
I was really looking forward to going for the retreat, partly due to the overwhelming amount of school work in the previous few weeks and I just need to take a break from it all (though I know things are just piling up each moment I'm away! lol), and I was really bubbling with excitement catching a glimpse of the theme of the retreat! You know, about youth and sheeps, the next generation etc.. And true enough, every session was rewarding, every worship was a memorable encounter with God.
It is God's heartbeat for the next generation. I thank God for the renewed passion, the renewed faith, the reassurace. Having been in the ministry for years, I lost count of the number of times I have shared with people the same struggles I face.. But I can recall how I have heard the same encouragement from the different people, and sometimes even from the same person at different times.. I have been trying, but I guess I never fully committed everything to God before.. Yes I do trust that God will use me in His ways, but I never really dared to verbalise those prayers of claiming authority over my ministry and the territories He sets apart for me to conquer.. Its like.. authority? I have been willing to be the insrustment God uses.. "in-charge" was probably a more comfortable term I would use, but authority was just something I couldn't really come to term with.. I never did realise this till this retreat! How do I put it? I guess I really respect the idea of freedom of choice and individuals having control over their own lives, and authority seems to encompass the idea of having ruling.. and they seems to contradict somehow? Hmm.. you get what I mean?? Haha anyway.. I am now truly convinced that both can coexist!
From John 10, Pastor Julie shared about the characteristics of a good shepherd, and I know that "ruling the sheeps" is one big issue I couldn't quite come to term with all along.. But guess what? God is really good isn't it? I can say that there is a new conviction, a new courage, a new faith. There can be so much things we do not understand, we do not know why, but the Holy Spirit will teach, lead and counsel.. I know I need not be afraid because the Holy Spirit is the best teacher. I know that there has been a new annointing, a new breakthrough, a new work done in me for the past 3 days. The last time I was forced to trust God out of desperation and knowing I have no other better alternatives.. This time, I trust God with joy and confidence! I can't remember when was the last time I was so convicted of the power and authority I have in Christ.. I know I am truly convicted now!
The journey gets tough along the way; we stumble, we fall.. Yet, we can pick ourselves up when we know Christ watches us fall and it pains Him, and He is there to help us get back in shape.. We can stand again with confidence knowing that the Holy Spirit never leaves us.. I reject the sense of inadequecy and little faith. God has injected new faith and assurace that He provides.. Yet, more than provision, He is in control.
It is all so easy to get all fuelled up when we are away on a retreat / camp etc.. Days away from civilisation.. I especially like retreats and camps, and stuff such as G12 conference.. I'm sure many sisters have heard me say "I wish I can just worship and listen to God's words whole day everyday.." just like conferences and retreats.. but we all know its impossible! God might as well bring you to heaven right now if thats what He intends for you to do all your life.. How then can we keep that passio, that fire, after returning? Life resumes.. Everything seems to have been the same.. Yet, something have changed isn't it? I have changed.. And I need to continue to change.. Me, I have to start the change!
I thank God for all my G12 sisters, I thank God for Livingstones, for the family! Thank God for these few people who have been such a blessing during this retreat.. either encouraged by their faith journey, or been blessed by their prayers and sharings! Thanking God for these special people -- Jiarong, Celine, Jenn, Karen, and Weiling the roomie! :) Of course, thank God for Pastor Lawrence and Pastor Fei too! And I have come to love Pastor Julie more!
Ok this is getting a bit way too long, time to start on lab reports and assignments, shall continue another day when the mood for typing comes! :)
- Mood:
excited
i just spent one freaking hour trying to open this .hwp file!!! its this hangul format which is so popular only in korea and so totally not user friendly cos no other softwares are suitable for opening it!!! i surfed a thousand and one websites (90% in korean which i totally don't understand!) and blindly clicked here and there! and FINALLY, managed to download this document viewer JUST TO READ ONE PAGE OF DOCUMENT THAT WAS SAVED IN .HWP FORMAT! can't you all just use something more user friendly!!!
ok.. at least i got it done this time round. this is not my first time trying to open .hwp files already.. but.. i simply gave up the previous times..
*SENSE OF ACHIEVEMENT!!*
- Mood: accomplished
Something was different when I stepped into The Max Pavilion today. Perhaps it could be the medicine taking its effect after the morning dosage? But again, I believe it is my best friend -- the Holy Spirit, preparing me to receive a message which can never be more powerful than this, and injecting my heart with a new booze of compassion and love again.
The tittle and biblical reference already deeply encapsulated me when I first flipped open the bulletin -- A Heart for the Next Generation, Psalm 127. The Next Generation? Psalm 127? This psalm has been special since 2005, when the name Young Arrows came about for Mountbatten Club, which is eventually used in replacement of children's club for all the other clubs as well.. This was where YA originated :)
Each week we go for YA, we are serving the next generation, we are their role model, we teach them more than what we think we could. More than all the academic stuff we do, something about our words to them, our relationship with them, our faith in them, matters.. Looking ten years down the road, how many children will remember that problem sum you helped him to solve? That comprehension you coached him to understand? Ten years down the road, perhaps the child can never remember a single incident that happened.. But you still remain in his mind, because he knows that you valued him as an individual, is committed to his growing and learning, trusted and believed in him more than anyone else.
It is when we stop labelling them that breakthrough begins. We should start adopting the Strengths Model. Let us celebrate the uniqueness of every child, every youth. Let us celebrate the hyperactivity in a child, he has so much more energy to do things than all of us. Let us celebrate the artistic one, the sporty one, the musically inclined one... and not just the one who can sit still and quiet in the traditional classroom, answer every question the teacher asks, and score 100 marks for english, maths, science and mother tongue. Break the norm of what a normal child should be. How can you define abnormal? All these are by human standards and comparison. Is an ADHD child normal? To me, certainly. Instead of lamenting and complaining about the hyperactivity, think about how we can harness than extra energy for a useful cause. Stop being fixated on what we want them to be, but what they can be.
No matter how good an arrow is, a good warrior is needed to make good use of it. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, we have more influence on the children than we know.. For transformation to occur, values must change; values must change at the roots of our culture, which are formed this very moment in the hearts and minds of our little ones out there.
And as I sat there listening, I knew God was working within me, I just felt like crying every other sentence Pastor Eugene shared. Tears for the lost generation out there, tears for the reality of the world. More than these, tears of thankfulness for the hope we can have. Each example Pastor Eugene shared, a related true encounter of a child or a teen would just come to mind. And all I could do was to sit there and pray for these faces which appeared. I thank God for today as Pastor Eugene reflected all that I have believed all these while but could never verbalise.
Where do we go from here? Celebrate every child who comes along your path. They are an inheritance from the Lord, a reward from Him, a blessing from above.
(On a side note, I am personally very impressed by the series of MOE advertisments in the past few months.. Those which pictures two children of contrasting needs in the same setting.. Look out for them in the papers they're really good :) )
The first time I came across the silver ribbon project was when I was reading the module SW1101E last semester.. And this semester, reading SW3217 Mental Health and Illness reminds me of this again!
Exactly what is stigma? Stigma means a mark or sign of shame, disgrace of disapproval, of being shunned or rejected by others. It emerges when people feel uneasy or embarrassed to talk about behaviour they perceive as different.
Discrimination and misconceptions remain among the most significant barriers to people with mental illness being able to actively participate in the community and gaining access to the services they need.
Also, it is not only people with mental illness who experience discriminations and stigma. Rejection of people with mental illness inevitably spills over to the caregivers and family members."
Support the Silver Ribbon!
http://www.silverribbonsingapore.com/
Quote of the night (especially for chao! and everyone else who needs it! i'm sure many are in that situation lol) :
Being organised is the first step to success!
(hmm.. helps u to get started on whats urgent and important and prioritize!! hee)
- Mood: productive
用一个火柴稍一场蜃楼
借这场大雨让自己逃走
慌忙公路无人的漂泊
寂寞海啸把我卷走
用一段感情换一个朋友
每一句再见割一道伤口
躲在万劫不复的街头
微笑参透覆水难收
倘若说放一次手就像咳一个嗽
我又何苦在乎得不到的温柔
我坐在公路的出口
等待天黑以后无边的寂寞
连想你都是种残酷解脱
我目送沿海的日落
紧抱一个醉生梦死的枕头
留不住回忆却学不会放手
怎么走
